Costumes? We don't need no stinking costumes ...

So here we are ... less than two weeks away from Dragon Con and no costume in sight.

Not to worry. Plenty of people are in your situation. You're going to the biggest sci-fi/fantasy con this side of Salusa Secundus and your stillsuit is a decade old and in no way fit for wear.

What's a geek to do?

Here's a few solutions, starting out with thinking small. You need to realize right now that you're not going to make a steampunk Storm in less than two weeks. Breathe deep, deal with it and move on. Instead of crying over spilled melange, let's talk about some costumes that you can throw together this weekend.

For starters, are you a female? Good. Get your corset, some boots and a pair of fairy wings. Bam! You're in business faster than Emeril. (on second thought, even if you're male, grab a corset, some boots and fairy wings. You're still in business. Talk about equal opportunity in the city too busy to hate!)

You don't need to dress up as your favorite character. Just dress up. Dragon Con is the place to wear whatever you want. This also means that you've saved yourself hundreds of dollars by wearing stuff you've got sitting in a walk-in closet.

Not up for exposing too much flesh? No problem. This is a no-judging zone. Instead, think of an easy costume that you can throw together in an evening. At the same time, think of something that no one else, or very few people, would wear.

You know plenty of women are going as Danaerys Targaryen. Don't try to beat that. Don't have the muscles for He-man? Not too many people do. If you've got a bald head, go as Charlie Brown. Quick, easy and people will stop you for pictures. This is what you really want anyway. Don't lie and say you don't.

Got a suit and a briefcase? How about adult Harry Potter? Come on, it's too easy to pass up and it will make people stop and look at you for a moment. Plenty of people will pass you by without noticing. The ones that get it will chase you down for a photo of your three-piece suit and lightning scar.

My point is, be creative with the clothes you have. Like I said, it's less than two weeks. You've got plenty other stuff to worry about. You don't need to break the bank becoming the next Galactus.

Instead, think about being a waiter or waitress at Merlotte's. Stick a couple of fang marks on your neck, grab a flask and hit the lobby of the Hyatt. You'll be glad you did.